​By Meg Langford


(Pickford Studios was overwhelmed with your response to our April Fool's Day blog about that person who makes being a fool not just a one day event, but an ongoing affair. As we are currently being frequently ghost-banned by Facebook, these amazing Page View stats really encouraged us. Given the Facebook ban, we had been seriously considering giving up on the blog entirely. It can be very discouraging, especially given that we want to keep this blog ad free, and it is not a monetized project. We just wish to be part of the conversation, but not in the painfully ridiculous Pepsi ad sort of way ... So please note that your support, and sharing our stories with you friends and colleagues, means everything to us.  (Please find the April Fool's Trump article just below this Ruby Bridges/Betsy DeVos story.) As for the following blog: We apologize for posting this story some six weeks after the story broke. Pickford Studios is in the middle of a sad senior citizen crisis, and, as always, family comes first. Nonetheless, we suggest that this story remains as relevant and timely as ever. Mocking the bravery of a small child is never appropriate, and demanding accountability from those who engage in the mocking has no expiration date.)



​
THE FAKE MCCOY




Here's the deal:  when you are trying to convince people to become a vegetarian, a good argument to NOT make is, "after all, Hitler was a vegetarian." Was Hitler a vegetarian?  Absolutely.   But is this a compelling argument when you are trying to get people to forego the joys of bacon, prize winning barbecue, and juicy quarter pounders?  No.  Because none of us really want to think we have anything in common with Hitler.  (Although I must admit that, given the last few months, that statement now seems wildly inaccurate.)   My point is, all analogies, similes, and metaphors fall apart if scrutinized rigorously enough.  X.J. Kennedy put it best, in Ars Poetica:  "The goose that laid the golden egg died looking up its crotch to find out how its sphincter worked."


Cartoonist Glenn McCoy clearly missed out on this brief requisite college curriculum poem, so busy was he doodling in his textbooks, because if there is one thing that millions of people believe about Cartoonist Glenn McCoy this week, it is that he is walking around with his head stuck very far up his ass.


In case you have been afraid to leave your house or turn on the news this week (something which I sympathize with completely, by the way), McCoy is that jackass who heard about the D.C. school protest against Education Secretary Betsy DeVos, and decided to compare this event to hundreds of angry white people lining up for months so that they could all scream death threats at a six year old child.   I am referring, of course, to Ruby Bridges, a brave child who forged a turning point in desegregation history, and who was immortalized by Normal Rockwell in one of the most powerful works of his lifetime, "The Problem We All Live With".


I know that I am not the first blogger to write about this—the ghastly parodying of an iconic 

painting, which masterfully captures prejudice at its worst. But as I have iterated before, sometimes it is important to be part of the chorus. 


So dear Glenn.   Let's consider the rest of this article to be AN OPEN LETTER TO GLENN MCCOY.  Let's start with all the ways that the protest situation against DeVos bears no resemblance to the Ruby Bridges drama.


1.)  The protesters in the DeVos situation did precisely what it was their right to do.  They protested.  They did not even break the law-- only one protester was arrested, and that was not for anything directly connected to DeVos.  They did not threaten her, they did not assault her.  In the case of Ruby Bridges, the protesters threw objects at her, and threatened her with death.  Not only is this quite illegal, but it is an an insult to any true Christian, particularly given the mob's choice to invoke God in the same phrase that they threatened the “nigger”.


2.) The protesters in the DeVos situation made their point and then let it go.  Once she decided not to go in that entrance, they did not follow her or escalate the situation.  They even told one of their own who had decided to stand in front of DeVos's vehicle to just let it pass.  The protesters in the Ruby Bridges did unthinkable things to that child, like placing a negro baby doll in a coffin and thrusting it in Ruby’s face. They also threatened, on a daily basis, to poison her. 


3.) The DeVos protesters were done with their business in a couple of hours.  The Ruby Bridges protesters all removed their children from school, in violation of the law.  The teachers in Ruby Bridges' new school refused to come to school and do their jobs, in violation of the law.  There were only a couple of brave exceptions.  (The child of a white Methodist minister, specifically.) The lesser known school down the road, which was also being integrated by three black children, remained deserted of white students for two years. Not quite at all in any way, shape, or form akin to DeVos trying to walk in a school's side door. Look, Glenn--even the perennially un-“fair” and wildly un-“balanced” Fox News couldn't get any traction out of the ridiculous little DeVos dust-up.  And heaven knows, if there had been any serious misbehavior on the part of the protesters, don’t we all just know that Fox News would have made it sound like Attica and the ’68 riots all rolled into one? 


This is the best Fox News could come up with: Protesters initially blocked newly confirmed Education Secretary Betsy DeVos from entering a Washington, D.C., school on Friday – with one “Black Lives Matter” demonstrator even briefly standing in front of her vehicle. DeVos later made it into Jefferson Middle School Academy in Southwest D.C. for her first visit as secretary to a public school. This was only after a teacher/parent “vigil” blocked the road by the front entrance, and a handful of Black Lives Matter protesters caused problems when DeVos tried to enter through the back entrance. Protesters shouted “shame, shame” at the secretary as she was led back into her vehicle. One holding a Black Lives Matter sign then stood in front of the van, but was scolded by fellow protesters to “let her leave,” and he stepped aside.


4.)  Betsy DeVos is a privileged, rich white woman who chose the public spotlight.  Ruby Bridges was a little six year old girl.  What the hell had she done that she should have to pass by large, looming crowds every morning of her life, her ears ringing with threats to lynch her?



5.) Betsy DeVos had worked systematically that very same week of the protest to lose the respect of the nation:  asked questions point blank by members of Congress, she stonewalled them, essentially "pleading the fifth" and disrespecting the entire process.  This was in addition to showing egregious lack of knowledge regarding some of the most basic crisis issues facing education today.   By contrast, Ruby Bridges was a little six year old girl, whose only desire was to go to school and learn something.  What the hell had she done to earn such hatred and to garner death threats from the ugly crowd?  Unless, of course, her sin was being born black. 


And here's what Glenn McCoy misses about the whole Betsy DeVos debacle.  Regarding the confirmation hearing in particular, she has not earned our respect.  In fact, she has gone out of her way to earn our deepest disrespect.


If she was as proud as she appears to be, she would have announced her views with confidence.  But she is not proud, she is haughty.  Arrogant, filled with hubris.


If she was so certain that she was right, she would have answered the questions put forth by a man who is Senator in Congress, and who has every right to have his questions answered, especially when he puts them in unmistakable, uber-clear Yes-or No terms.


If she was honest, she would not have equivocated.  But Betsy DeVos is not honest.  If she was, that honesty and any true collection of Christian values would prohibit her from working from a man like Donald Trump.


6.) Betsy Devos had a pretty damn sweet rest of the week, after the little dust-up at the school door. On Valentine’s Day, the President of the United States called her “a genius”, for the way she handled her confirmation hearing, which is odd to me since what I saw was her repeating the same answers over and over and over and over again, usually a symptom of some kind of mental tic. DeVos gave a little book report at the Magnet Schools of America 2017 National Policy Training Conference on February 15th. All these pleasant things happened to Devos after those mean protestors—maybe a couple dozen people holding signs, most of them teachers—said they didn’t want her around their school. Oh, and she also told Axios Media in an interview that, regarding the federal government’s role in education, she said “it would be fine with me to have myself worked out of a job.” The Ruby Bridges family, by contrast, was harassed with death threats, banned from shopping in their local grocery store, and Ruby’s father was fired from his job. And as if that wasn’t enough, way over in Mississippi (the Ruby incident took place in New Orleans), Ruby’s grandparents were forced off of their land and rendered homeless. See, Glenn?—another way there is really no comparison. 


Last but not least, let me say that you, Mr. McCoy, have no business associating yourself in any way, shape, or form, with either Ruby Bridges or Norman Rockwell. We’ve looked at Ruby’s sacrifice; let’s take a look at the man who painted the iconic Ruby Bridges moment in history.


Norman Rockwell took a mighty big chance and an unquantifiable risk when he switched from painting snippets of a perfect, jolly, sweet, and distinctly white America (it was the policy at 

Saturday Evening Post that Negros only be painted in servile positions), to capturing a grimmer side of the great experiment called “America.”  Overnight, with the publication of Ruby's painting, "The Problem We All Live With", his work went from “tugging at our heartstrings” to “ripped from the headlines”. And the results were exactly what one might have expected.  Although many found an even deeper level of respect for the man, and Rockwell was vaulted into the realm of more serious artists (no longer "just an illustrator"--the same thing those Parisian Fous said about Toulouse Lautrec, only in French). Still, as we might expect, Rockwell received bags full of hate mail.  Heretofore, Rockwell had painted on such controversial themes as the passion of politics  (yeah, right, "Elect Casey", some portraying some old white fart politician, and "Election Day", in which no people except the whitest of white are voting), and crime (yeah right  "Crime Doesn't Pay" featuring a hobo stealing a pie, or "No Swimming", in which some kids dash half naked from a swimming hole to dodge a trespassing charge) ...but seriously, Rockwell had only dealt with the happy, sappy side of America.  He had done it brilliantly, and he had forayed into some less sunshiny themes with works like "The Four Freedoms."  But clearly, a combination of life (the decades passing, and American fomenting) and a persuasive wife of three decades, nudged Rockwell to finally take on some politically charged themes.


I admit, I am partial.  I had been lost in the torturous, tortuous story of the murder of the three Civil Rights workers back in 1964--it is a story so circumlocutous that the mastermind behind the murders was actually retried again in 2005, four decades later. (!)  His name is Ray Killen, he was born in 1925, and I am thrilled to report that, in spite of his dopey appeals, he is still rotting away in prison as I write this.  Sentenced to life, because he needed to bludgeon and then gun down three young men whose worst crime was to come to Mississippi to sign up blacks to vote.  But long before Ray Killen faced his final justice, a bold, brave "new" Norman Rockwell make a sharp turn away from his playful portraying of white America, and rendered the tragedy in what is surely the most haunting painting he has ever created: "Southern Justice​". 


And hey Glenn, it’s not that Rockwell is off limits.  But let his voice, and his vision, echo from the past into the present, as this artist did, when Norman Rockwell's iconic "Runaway" became "The Militarization of Officer Joe."

Glenn, Glenn, Glenn.  You went for the cheap shot, and now, you have legions of new anti-fans.   You saw some slight female trying to get into school and thought, "Hey, let's compare this billionairess to a scared little black girl in the mid 1900's south." You could have thought it through, you could have chucked the idea, seeing it to be tasteless.  But, as Sam McPheeters of Vice Magazine so pithily put it, regarding Glenn McCoy's impulse control:  "he just couldn’t help himself, any more than the shuffling sewer monsters can help snatching a stray puppy and sucking it down a storm drain."


Oh yeah.  Tell 'em, Sam. 


And Glenn, as for your pathetically lame excuse (as in, if it was a horse that badly lame, we'd take it behind the back of the barn and shoot it), you said, in response to the viral and international furor: "I regret if anyone was offended by my choice of metaphors, but my 

intention was to focus on the protesters being hateful and to open up a dialogue on this point."  


Well, I'd like to reprint here a comment made by a forum poster known as "charliee, regarding your desire, Glenn, to "open up dialogue”.  Quips charliee:


“If McCoy wants a dialogue, I'll start: Glenn McCoy, it appears that you're an insensitive, ignorant, racist.”


But here's the thing, Glenn.  I have been to your page.  It is myopic, full of cheap shots, shows little signs of artistic evolution, and is frankly not that funny.   So since your insincere apology for the Ruby Bridges debacle amounted basically to a thinly veiled "Fuck You," Let me put this whole Ruby Bridges thing into terms you can understand.


Your daughter--Molly, isn't it?  Fifteen, last I read?   Molly is fifteen, and in this made up scenario (designed to jolt you into some degree of human sensitivity), she has gotten herself pregnant—or perhaps worse, raped by some deranged maniac. Because she is the daughter of a conservative, the secret has slipped out that she in on her way to get an abortion and what a hypocrisy.  On her way to the clinic, hundreds of conservative evangelicals line up along the sidewalk and scream the most hideous things: she will burn in hell, they will kill her (speeding along the burning in hell scenario), and all the while, they throw baby body parts at her, along with liberal amounts of blood.   She is terrified.  This will scar her for life.


Now Glenn.  Are you picturing all that?   You're a really funny guy, right?  Let's get a laugh riot side splitting cartoon out of it.  I dare you. 


Post Script:   The only interesting thing about you, Glenn, (and man, I did not see this coming), is that you were involved with the creation of The Minions.  Dear Readers:  Yes, those minions.  So here is a note to anybody reading this who has a little time and a lot of anger and a burning, raging, fire in their belly--Why don't you cruise over to Glenn, Glenn, Glenn.  You went for the cheap shot, and now, you have legions of new anti-fans.   You saw some slight female trying to get into school and though, "Hey, let's compare this billionairess to a scared little black girl in the mid 1900's south." You could have thought it through, you could have chucked the idea, seeing it to be tasteless.  But, as Sam McPheeters of Vice Magazine so pithily put it, regarding Glenn McCoy's impulse control:  "he just couldn’t help himself, any more than the shuffling sewer monsters can help snatching a stray puppy and sucking it down a storm drain."


Oh yeah.  Tell 'em, Sam. 


And Glenn, as for your pathetically lame excuse (as in, if it was a horse that badly lame, we'd take it behind the back of the barn and shoot it), you said, in response to the viral and international furor: "I regret if anyone was offended by my choice of metaphors, but my 

intention was to focus on the protesters being hateful and to open up a dialogue on this point."  


Well, I'd like to reprint here a comment made by a forum poster known as "charliee, regarding your desire, Glenn, to "open up dialogue”.  Quips charliee:


“If McCoy wants a dialogue, I'll start: Glenn McCoy, it appears that you're an insensitive, ignorant, racist.”


But here's the thing, Glenn.  I have been to your page.  It is myopic, full of cheap shots, shows little signs of artistic evolution, and is frankly not that funny.   So since your insincere apology for the Ruby Bridges debacle amounted basically to a thinly veiled "Fuck You," Let me put this whole Ruby Bridges thing into terms you can understand.


Your daughter--Molly, isn't it?  Fifteen, last I read?   Molly is fifteen, and in this made up scenario (designed to jolt you into some degree of human sensitivity), she has gotten herself pregnant—or perhaps worse, raped by some deranged maniac. Because she is the daughter of a conservative, the secret has slipped out that she in on her way to get an abortion and what a hypocrisy.  On her way to the clinic, hundreds of conservative evangelicals line up along the sidewalk and scream the most hideous things: she will burn in hell, they will kill her (speeding along the burning in hell scenario), and all the while, they throw baby body parts at her, along with liberal amounts of blood.   She is terrified.  This will scar her for life.


Now Glenn.  Are you picturing all that?   You're a really funny guy, right?  Let's get a laugh riot side splitting cartoon out of it.  I dare you. 


Post Script:   The only interesting thing about you, Glenn, (and man, I did not see this coming), is that you were involved with the creation of The Minions.  Dear Readers:  Yes, those minions.  So here is a note to anybody reading this who has a little time and a lot of anger and a burning, raging, fire in their belly--Why don't you cruise over to change.org and start a petition for Disney to drop Glenn McCoy, or else.  Sheesh, he's the only one who can draw a canary yellow suppository? 
​ and start a petition for Disney to drop Glenn McCoy, or else.  Sheesh, he's the only one who can draw a canary yellow suppository? 

                                     ADDENDUM:   A Doctor Learns from his Patient

During this hellacious year, a curious young psychiatrist by the name of Robert Coles (now an 87 year old Harvard Emeritus professor) saw the Ruby Bridges story on television, and become obsessed with the notion of doing whatever he could to help this poor child.  He was in for the surprise of a lifetime.   It was the doctor who would end up learning life-changing lessons from this little child.  Below is the transcript of his interview, including his interviews with Ruby.   I think you will find that the story below (and video, from YouTube), will provide you with profound spiritual inspiration, at a time when we all desperately need it.

​ROBERT COLES TRANSCRIPTS:

New Orleans was aflame with racial hate and street violence.  They were trying to desegregate two elementary schools. And this little girl was ordered by a federal judge to go into one of them.  And she was there all by herself.  The whole white population had boycotted the school.  No other children with her.  And I happened to see this little child going into a school in New Orleans, at the age of six, to the first grade.

I thought to myself,  "I would like to know that child. I would like to know what's happening to her.” 

One day, having spent months getting to know ruby, and being rather puzzled about how normal and stoic and strong she was, going through this kind of living hell--200 people waiting at 8:30 in the morning to tell her they were going to kill her, 200 people in the afternoon telling her they were going to kill her ...25 federal marshals taking her into that building.  What would you expect? You would expect that a child going through that would start to develop symptoms, and being in trouble. . .

I waited and waited, and there weren't any symptoms.  And she kept going and learning, and being the Ruby that she was, a normal six year old black child.  Very poor background, parents didn't even know how to read and write.  Humble people.  One day her school teacher said to me, she had been leaning out of the window, and she saw Ruby yet again coming to school.  This time she watched carefully ,and she noticed, that as Ruby was walking past this mob of heckling men and women, she stopped.  And her teacher saw her lips moving.  

I said ""Ruby, your teacher told me today that you were talking to those people in the street."  

She said to me, “Doctor, I told her that I wasn't talking to the people."


"Well who were you talking to, Ruby?”  

"I told her.  I was talking to God."


(INTERVIEW CUTS TO FOOTAGE OF THE PROTESTORS, BEING INTERVIEW BY THE NEWS:
REPORTER:  WOULD YOU TELL OUR AUDIENCE WHY YOU TOOK THEM OUT? 
WOMAN:  BECAUSE I DIDN’T WANT THEM TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH THE NIGGERS!)


“Why were you praying to God?  

She said “I was praying for the people in the street.”

And I said, “Why were you doing that, Ruby?"  

And she said, “Well because, I wanted to pray for them.”

I said “Ruby, why would you want to pray for those people?"  

And she looked at me, her eyes wide, and she said "Well don't you think they need praying for?"

That stopped me cold.  

“Where did you get that idea, Ruby?"

"Well, my mommy and daddy have told me that.  And the minister told me that in church."

She said “I pray for them every morning, and I pray for them every afternoon when I go home.”

(DOCUMENTARY CUTS BACK TO A RANTING PROTESTOR:
WOMAN:  I SAY FOR THE MOTHERS TO KEEP THEIR KIDS OUT OF SCHOOL!  ALL TOGETHER!  WE’RE WHITE PEOPLE!  WE DON’T WANT THEM TO GO TO SCHOOL WITH NIGGERS!   I HAVE FIVE, AND THEY AIN'T GOING TO SCHOOL WITH NO NIGGERS!)

But I said, "Ruby, those people are so mean to you.  So nasty to you.  You must have some other feelings besides wanting to pray for them?"

She said,  “I just keep praying for them I just hope that God will be good to them.”

I said “What do you say in the prayer, Ruby?”

"I always say the same thing."

"What's that, Ruby?" 

"I  always say ‘Please, dear God, forgive them, because they don't know what they're doing.’ ”

Now I'd heard that someplace before.  And I heard it in that kitchen, in the extremely impoverished house, and it silenced me.  I had no more questions to ask.   Here was a child, who we learned in the sixties to say that she came from a "culturally disadvantaged house" and a "culturally deprived home"...they were illiterate, her parents, and yet they had taught her Biblical truths , in a way that she was to  live them out.  I'd like to see some of us with fancy education bring up our children similarly.  Do we?  I am not so sure we do...
​

By the Pickford Studios Crew

                                                            
​Pickford Studios is proud to announce that as a result of turning our staff into a 'round the clock, 24 hour crew, along with a special deal we have cut with Reuters and the A.P., we now have FIRST ACCESS to all breaking news stories coming across the wire.  Because of our astonishing site stats in our 18 month old blog, and our formation of a groundbreaking new journalism juggernaut--B.J.T.C.  (Better Journalism Through Caffeine), we will now be able to offer more than just blogging and punditry ...we will actually be bringing you breaking news the very nanosecond that it happens!



BREAKING NEWS:


TRUMP COMES UP WITH GENIUS IDEA TO WIPE OUT NATION'S 587 BILLION DOLLAR DEFICIT.

Trump has United States declare Bankruptcy!   

"This is my seventh bankruptcy, people, and everybody knows that Seven is a lucky number.  And who would know lucky numbers better than me, a hyuge casino owner."


UPDATE:  In a bizarre turn of events, involving some incredibly bad luck for President Trump, the bankruptcy proceedings were overseen by a judge whom Trump had dealt with before.   The Honorable A'isha Intizara Maria Hernandez--who is of Muslim/Latino extraction, and who is married to the famous black PGA champion Lyon Forrest--was the woman on the bench who would be deciding The President's fate.  Judge Hernandez's parents are Ms. Fatima Fez, who is the former Deputy Chairman for Management and Budget for the National Endowment for the Arts, and Mr. David Hernandez, who is the Executive Director of Corporate Engagement for Meals on Wheels America.






Ironically, Trump’s former dealings with this judge involved a lawsuit that actually originated right here out of Pickford Studios.  When Trump was still a private (well, depends on how you define “private”) citizen, he attempted to claim patent and trademark rights for “Mexifornia: The Board Game” which was actually created by The Pickford Word’s own Mickey McClain.  (See moviesforyourmind.net, under HOME, under AUTHORS for Mickey’s bio.)  Similar in appearance to “Monopoly”, “Mexifornia: The Board Game” consists of a colorful board , two stacks of cards, elaborate rules of play, and some really cool game pieces.  The game lets players determine whether immigrants are a blight or a boon, whether white Americans are bigots exploiting the workers, or just good old patriots wishing to enforce the rules of law and keep our borders safe.  It was Trump’s intention to claim ownership and turn the game into a new reality show, but the litigation drags on, leaving the outcome in limbo.   Mr. McClain also claims that Trump’s new theme park (TrumpLand!) has stolen Mickey’s travelling road show idea for the Gigantic Bobblehead Doll & Pez Dispenser Competition.  (In a separate lawsuit, Mickey McClain is being sued by the Pez Candy Company.  Mr. McClain is currently attempting to crowdfund his defense.)

In what some have criticized as an act of legislating from the bench, Judge Hernandez refused President Trump’s request for a Chapter 11 Bankruptcy filing on behalf of the United States of America, and instead Hernandez declared that Trump would have to declare both Chapter 11 and Chapter 7, given that just last week, Trump snuck an executive order under the radar, lost in the kerfuffle about Nunes and Flynn, as well as the two new executive orders regarding trade.  The Judge was referring to Executive Order 13782.5, in which Trump declared that the title of "President of the United States of America” be amended to read "President-Kingish Emperorus Maximus Trump."   Hernandez declared the executive order to be yet a further power grab from the most powerful man in the world, and that in attempting to blend his personal and professional identities, Trump had opened himself up to the unprecedented joining of the Chapters 7 and 11 bankruptcies.

As such, the draconian rules regarding the seizure of personal assets by the court and by creditors immediately applied to Donald Trump.

It was noted that Trump flipped Hernandez The Bird upon hearing this.

The White House, Mar-a-Lago, and Trump Towers have all been taken from The Donald, with the Judge declaring that Trump shall serve out the remainder of his presidency in the Mar-a-Lago groundskeeper hut.

Robert Redford and Clint Eastwood have both offered up their properties as the potential "next" White House, for “46”, Redford offering up his breathtaking Apsen A Frame, while Dirty Harry can see the President living in his Malibu digs.

Because Trump's wardrobe goes wildly over the limit of allowable assets, the Judge allowed him to select three suits, and three ties.  Trump selected three black suits and three red ties.

The Judge also allowed Donald Trump to keep some tools and a tool box that had been handed down to him by his grandfather, stating that "Trump could use them to learn what it meant to really do some actual work."   Anderson Cooper, reporting from inside the courthouse, stated that "Trump picked up, each in turn, a hammer, a screwdriver, a pliers, studying them with simian-like befuddlement reminiscent of the infamous black monolith scene in “2001: A Space Odyssey”, apparently having no idea what they were for”.

Because President Trump "mistakenly" declared his wife "an asset", Judge Hernandez declared them "instantaneously divorced" with one swift THWACK of her gavel.   Melania was last seen skipping gleefully down the courthouse steps with her son Barron. She then got into an idling Uber vehicle, driven by a one Travis Kalanick.   The three quickly sped away, and eyewitnesses reported seeing Melania cackling wildly inside the vehicle.

Trump was also ordered to surrender his entire fleet of vehicles, and was given a choice of just three to pick from, for his personal and Presidential use:  

1.  A Corbin Sparrow he received as a gift from the factory workers when he visited Myers Motors in Tallmadge, Ohio, for a big Trump Rally.  In a separate lawsuit, Trump is still dealing with the fallout from accepting such a large (well, relatively speaking) gift while acting in his role as President of the United States.  Trump's lawyers have countered that the President was actually campaigning for 2020 during the rally, and as such, was functioning as a candidate, not The President, and as such had a right to accept said Sparrow.  

2.  His personal limousine.  But there is a hitch:  the Judge declared that if Trump was to select this as the single personal vehicle that he is allowed to keep after bankruptcy, it is under the condition that he actually act as chauffeur, learning what it is like to make an honest living.  

3.  At this point, the Pickford Crew had trouble with their fax machine, and the listing for the third vehicle from which Trump had to choose came across the wires as merely the cryptic words........”Go F art!"

Back at the courthouse, the bankruptcy proceedings were over in a record breaking seventeen minutes, and Trump left with a big smile on his face, declaring to reporters that it had all gone exactly as he had planned, and that he had "WON BIGLY!"    He then got into his golf cart, and rode away, his combover riding the wind, creating its own little border wall between his big brain, and the vastness of our universe.